MaXIMIze - The Reason for the Season

There are so many holy days and holidays during this season - Hanukkah (which fell during Thanksgiving this year due to the lunar calendar), Yule, Christmas, Kwanzaa, to name the ones I know of right off the bat.

This is a time to celebrate the return of the light and the Light, miracles, and those intangible things like love, life, friendship and family. Yet somehow we have translated it into a materialistic time of year. Shopping on Thanksgiving, Black Friday fights over things, really folks?

To date this season I have watched Rudolph, The Christmas Angel, The Christmas Box, A Muppet's Christmas Carol, and The Christmas Child, and they have all had the same message - love for thy fellow man - and redemption.

When I said something about the materialism of Christmas to my daughter, she told me a phrase for giving gifts - not only during the holidays, but for birthdays and other gift-giving occasions as well - that fits. Something I want, something I need, something I'll wear, something I'll read. The want and the need can be experiences rather than things. Time spent together, forgiveness, redemption. Emotional connection rather than material goods.

Now don't get me wrong - I like giving and receiving gifts as much as the next person. However, time spent with family and friends making memories to last through the years is much more valuable to me, especially as I get older and need less things in my life.

So, take the time out from the hurry and scurry, the bustle and worry and really look your loved ones in the eyes, give them hugs, and enjoy their company - they are what really matter in the big scheme of things, not that new gadget or toy or piece of clothing that will be forgotten by the turn of the next season.

Until next time, namaste!

MaXIMIze - More Questions to Consider

Certainly you didn't think the questions posted last week were the be all and end all, did you? Of course not! There are a lot of things to dig into when you are working to discover what matters, what gives your life meaning, and what you need to let go of.

Here are some more questions to ponder in this vein:

How would you describe your perfect job? What would a day in this job look like?

What kind of people would you be working with and/or for?

How would your work benefit you beyond earning a paycheck?

How would your work and you specifically doing your work benefit others?

How would you feel after a good day at work?

These questions just cover one aspect of your life, you know. The other aspects we will explore in 2014 include financial health, relationships, spirituality, physical well being, emotional well being, and your life as a whole. 

The remaining blog posts for 2013 to be on the look out for will deal with how to cope with holiday stress - managing expectations comes to mind, the reason(s) for the season beyond the materiality and consumerism, and a year-end wrap-up of the various topics covered in this blog during 2013.

In January, we will reset - 2012 was focused on letting go. 2013 added becoming. 2014 will add growing, particularly in the areas noted above.

I look forward to continued sharing in this blog - namaste!

MaXIMIze - Questions to Consider When Looking for Your Passion

As promised in last week's blog post, here are some questions to consider when you are finding your passion. Take some time, serious time, to consider these questions as you work through the process of finding your passion - finding what really lights your fire and makes you want to bounce out of bed in the morning full of vim and vigor ready to tackle the world!

Can you tell I'm passionate about helping others? ;)

What makes you happy? What brings a smile to your face, lightens your heart and lightens your steps through life? 

How do people who know you describe you? You'll have to get feedback from those closest to you to answer this one, since we have a tendency not to see certain facets of ourselves the way others do.

What are your core values in life? During a Creative to the Core meeting nearly two years ago now we did an exercise where we each came up with 10 values that are important in our lives. Then we pared that list to five - my five were: trust; freedom; respect; honesty; and passion. Then we pared those down to three - mine were: trust; freedom; and passion. Then we pared those down to one - the most important value/principle in life to me at that particular time was trust. That doesn't mean the others I listed weren't important - they very much are (as those who know me know). It is just that at that particular time in my life, trust - and having people and things I could trust in - was paramount. Now, freedom and passion are paramount in my life, yet trust remains a constant as well as respect and honesty.

If you need help coming up with values, you can Google them on the internet and make a list of those that call strongly to you.

What things am you good at accomplishing - at work and at home?

What things do you dislike - at work and at home?

What things are in your spheres of control and influence to do something about and what things are beyond my spheres? Definitions from the Web...

Sphere of Control – things over which we have the final say; we determine the outcome. 

Sphere of Influence – issues that we can influence, although we alone do not determine the outcome. 

Sphere of No Control/No Influence – matters that are out of our control or beyond ability to influence. 

What do you really want to be known for? Actually, the answer to this question should align with the values you chose from a previous question - if it doesn't you may want to reconsider what is really important in your life to make that alignment possible.

I think that is more than enough to ponder for now...until next week, keep your light shining through the chaos!

Namaste!

MaXIMIze - Finding Your Passion

So, a dear friend is going through a passion crisis of sorts. I think we all go through these at least once in our lifetimes, if not several times. As human beings, we grow and change over time and what we thought we wanted to do, to have, to become can change as well, particularly if we've really never given much thought as to what really drives us, what makes us feel alive, what just feels right no matter what.

In the film The Legend of Baggar Vance, Baggar (the caddy) tells the golfer, "Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing. Something we were born with. Something that's ours and ours alone. Something that can't be taught to you or learned. Something that got to be remembered."

Remembering is sometimes the hard part - remembering what it was that lit us up from the inside out when we were younger, before education, society, and even we ourselves put us in boxes.

So, if finding your passion is an area you need to work through, here are a few questions to get you started.

What did you enjoy doing when you were younger? What did it make you feel like?

What are you good at - what do others see as your gifts?

What excites you, lights your inner fire now?

What draws you as a moth to the flame - what you do read about, learn about, teach and tell others about?

Passion lives in your heart, not in your head. The flames of passion are fanned by engagement, not by thinking. What feels right in your life, right here, right now? What makes you feel alive?

As you are working through the deep contemplation these questions deserve, remember you bring into your life what you put out into the world. So commit to and love what are doing right here, right now. By doing your best in whatever you are doing today, you will uncover the light and passion within you to shine forth tomorrow.

I'll post more questions to consider here over the next couple of weeks. And, for those of you who haven't found my page on Facebook yet, click here to check it out.

Namaste!

MaXIMIze - Find Your Passion

How do you feel when you're living your passion? This quote pretty much sums it up:

“You will wake up every morning with a limitless reservoir of energy and enthusiasm. All your thoughts will be focused on your definite objective.. You won’t have time to waste time. Valuable mental power will, therefore, not be wasted on trifling thoughts. You will automatically erase the worry habit and become far more effective and productive. Interestingly, you will also have a deep sense of inner harmony, as if you are somehow being guided to realize your mission. It is a wonderful feeling.” ~ Robin Sharma

Today, I have two questions for you to ponder:

What is it that you love to do so much that you would pay to do it?

How much would it take for you not to do what you are currently doing for a living?

These questions came from listening to a couple of Brian Johnson's sessions from the En*Theos Academy - either his Philosopher's Notes on the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz or Optimal Living 101 Q&A, Session 19, I can't remember which at the moment - and a discussion with a co-worker after I said in a smart-alecky tone, "I LOVE my job!" one day in the office.

Now it should be noted that I do enjoy my current job very much. However, do I truly love it? No. Why not? Because most of the time it does not feed my fire, it does not fulfill my passion.

My passion is helping people realize that we are all human beings first and all else comes second, and from that base helping others become the best human beings they can be. I pay to learn how to express that passion more fully in life by the classes I take, the group functions I attend, and most recently attaining my professional coaching certification. I share my passion by helping other people grow, either directly by mentoring and coaching or indirectly via my Facebook page, this blog, my poetry and/or my fiction.

As to answering the second question, if I brought income in that matched what I currently make at my "day job" plus 20% doing what I truly love to do - helping others grow as human beings - I'd retire from my current job tomorrow. Heck, I 'd give my notice right now!

How can you tell the difference between doing a job you like and doing what you love? Doing what you love feeds the fire inside. And, you cannot not do what you truly love to do - you may be able to bury it for a while, ignore it, or neglect it for a time, but your passion will always boil to the surface. If you don't feed the fire that feeds you, you'll feel more numb and depressed than alive and invigorated.

So follow the light and path of your passion and the fulfillment of feeding the fire!

Namaste!

MaXIMIze - Focus on What You Sow

As a Federal worker still working who is waiting and wondering if Congress is going to get the legislation necessary to fund my payroll or not passed soon, I have allowed myself to fall into the negativity trap again, and am not sending the positive energy out into the world that I know in my heart I should.

I was reminded of this through the workshop I attended yesterday and the most recent Philosophers Notes from Brian Johnson at the En*Theos Academy.

As a voting constituent I can - and have - let my elected officials know how I feel and what I think should be done. And, if they continue down the road they are currently on, I will remind them of that as necessary. And...that is all I can do. I can't force all of Congress into a rubber room and feed them bread and water until they do the right thing for our nation and the Federal workers who support her - however appealing that sounds at times.

I, as a responsible adult, need to realize what I can affect change upon and what I can't, and have the maturity and the wisdom to affect it where I can - starting with myself - and to let the rest go. The only person I can control is myself, and I need to get back to doing that and focusing my energies on making sure I am living the best life that I can right here, right now.

I want to sow positive energy that will come back to me in rapids, ripples, and tidal waves - I really do! So that is where my focus is right here, right now. The rest will take care of itself.

Namaste!

MaXIMIze - Taking Care of You

A recent conversation with a dear friend reminded me that - as those lovely flight attendants tell us during the safety briefing at the beginning of every flight - we cannot take care of others if we do not take care of ourselves first. And beyond that, if we are doing for others all the time, we could become depressed and resentful because our needs are not being fulfilled and our emotional bank accounts are being drained rather than replenished and balanced.

So, are you doing enough for yourself? Do you practice extreme self-care? Or are you always giving to others, perhaps even to others who do not give back in return?

You are the only person you can control, therefore you are the only person you can change. If you need to change gears and take more care of yourself, do it!

Those who truly care for you will adapt, support, and understand. Those who don't - well, you'll find out who really cares for you and wants what's best for you when you start doing what is best for yourself.

You are worth it!

Namaste!

MaXIMIze - Take a Cleansing Vacation

When did you last take a real vacation - one where you fully let go of the day-to-day trivialities and just enjoyed where you were?

Are you tending your garden, your medicine, the balm of your soul?

Are you regularly cleansing your persona?

Like our homes get dusty,dirty and cluttered, so do our personae. Whether it is a nine-day vacation away from home (like I just did) or a few hours focused on something other than the day-to-day stuff, we all need to cleanse our souls from time to time so that we can come back to "real life" renewed and refreshed. 

By being focused in the here and now, we leave the worries of yesterday in the past and the ones of tomorrow in the future, enabling ourselves to live each day as fully as possible. 

So take some time to cleanse your persona on a regular basis, whether it is via a class you can lose yourself in, a trip to the zoo, a solitary walk near in a creek, time spent with someone special away from home and work focused on nature, or whatever feeds your soul and allows you to let go of that which no longer serves. 

Namaste!

MaXIMIze - Declutter Your Life

As I read Cheryl Richardson's book Take Time for Your Life for the perhaps sixth or seventh time, I find a theme that is going through my life reverberating in her writing. It is the theme of leaving behind those things that no longer serve you in living your best life now.

As we move up the spiral staircase to our highest, most MaXIMIzed life, we must leave behind those things - ideas, habits, thoughts, people, situations - that no longer serve us. This can be difficult to do, as they are usually a part of our comfort zone, much like Linus' blanket or our child's favorite toy.

As a child puts away those toys he has outgrown, however, so too must we put aside those things that no longer serve to move us up the spiral staircase, and, in some cases, are pulling us down the bannister back toward the bottom step.

What things in your life - ideas, habits, thoughts, people, situations - are hindering you from living your best life now?

MaXIMIze - The Space between Reaction and Response

This one has been percolating away for a couple of months now, and is an amalgamation of several items/events recently - the phrase "put away childish things" appeared in a Daily Read from Science of Mind, a discussion on FaceBook regarding a post/picture I shared, and other things in my own life as well as the life of others.

Action, Reaction - Reactive
Action, Response - Responsive

When we are children, we are dependent upon others - our parents, our teachers, our preachers, and yes, even our peers. The action/reaction chain, nay, dance becomes ingrained from an early age in our subconscious.

When we react to the actions of another, the subconscious remembers similar previous actions - either by that particular person or a more general group that person may or may not represent - and we do not consciously consider our response - we simply, well, react. This is the action/reaction dance - quick, choppy, prone to missteps and misunderstandings.

The action/response dance has a much different form, and in order to learn and master this form we need to learn to let go of what has been ingrained in us since an early age that no longer serves us. We need to learn to step back, take a breath, move outside the circle of the action, and really look at the situation from all sides. We must determine if the reaction we feel welling up is a valid one that fits the situation or if it is one that is borne out of remembered fear, pain, loss, rejection, etc. from a seemingly similar situation that does not fit the current one.

When we choose to choose our reaction instead of allowing our reaction to choose us, we are then responding to the action/situation rather than reacting to it.

So, the next time you feel an extreme, visceral reaction coming on the heels of someone else's action - stop; breathe; step outside the circle; and look at the whole picture. Then, choose your response.

MaXIMIze - Right Here, Right Now

All you have is right here, right now - worrying about anything else robs today of its pleasure. Everyone has a past, everyone has a future - 'tis true - and how we choose to live today determines both.

The here and now is what we really have - and we can choose to look back to the past, look forward to the future, or look moment by moment to the day at hand. Life is built moment by moment by the choices we make here and now.

What choices are you making as you live today?

MaXIMIze - Self Confidence

So, today's blog has several inspirations - my dear friend, a link from a Twitter post, and Sheryl Sandberg's new book.

First, everyone should have at least one dear friend who is a luminary as well as matter of fact support. Someone who reminds you not to put anyone in a box, least of all yourself.

Second, I am always interested in figuring out what makes people tick - whether it's through the Meyers-Briggs testing, Strength Finders, astrology (oh come on - it is older than and therefore at least as valid as the others - and I'm not talking daily horoscopes from the paper either...), and now, the newest discovery of mine - blood type. Yes, blood type. Who knew?

And third, Sheryl Sandberg - this woman is bloody amazing! She is the COO (chief operating officer) of Facebook, among other things. Her book reinforces my belief and message that we are all human beings first - all else comes after that.

Now on to the recent ah ha moment...

I was sharing the post about blood types mentioned above, and reading mine to my dear friend - I'm type O, by the way - and noted that while it says I am supposed to be extremely self-confident, I disagreed with that part of the description. My friend then informed me that yes, I am indeed self-cofnident...when I allow myself to be. Bing! Light bulb moment!

When I concentrate on my abilities, my talents, the things that make me damned good at my job as well as helping me with the other successes in my life - yes, I am self-confident. When I focus on my failures in life, then not so much. And I am the first to say focus on the positive and turn your face to the sun, the light. Yet, I, as much as anyone else, can allow what I consider failures to fill my mind instead of the successes.

And why shouldn't I be self confident about what I have achieved to date? I have a good job, have raised relatively happy, healthy and responsible children, and and happy, healthy and responsible myself. So, by my own definition, I am successful. I do not hesitate to give a hand up to others, and truly enjoy being of service where I can.

So why shouldn't I believe in and build upon my own abilities? Why shouldn't I be confident in them, and thereby self-confident?

And - why shouldn't you be equally confident in your abilities and thereby self-confident?

As per Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent - so why are you allowing yourself to undermine your confidence?

Get out there and share your own special light!

MaXIMIze - Life Plans

A recent conversation with a friend caused me to wonder how many of us really have a life plan when we are younger? How many of us are dead certain of what we are going to be when we grow up, let alone plan for it and achieve it?

I know I had no clue what I wanted to do when I grew up. Life was too chaotic for me to think beyond getting through the day at hand most of the time. I do remember when I was little, though, five or slightly younger, having two unmatched socks, one red and one yellow, and making up a story about having two children - a boy named Erik for Erik the Red (the red sock), and a girl named Sarah (the yellow sock) - none of my children bear those names, yet my oldest son is the red sock and my daughter is the yellow - and my youngest son is simply the blessing I never planned for.

The older we get, particularly if we feel unfulfilled and that life is passing or has passed us by, regret can set in - and so can depression. We tend to forget that as long as we draw breath on this earth we can draw into our life that which fulfills, comforts, completes, and sates us.

There is an Orson Swett Marden quote that fits here: "If your task is not a perpetual tonic to you...you have not found your place."

The following questions might help you to determine what your place is - and encourage you to take the steps necessary to reach it. I picked them up at some training or other I went to for work, and they are applicable for all of us.

1. What are the three most important things in your life right now?

2. What are your three main goals in life?

3. If you only had six months to live, what would you do differently?

4. If you came into a lot of money, what would you do differently?

5. What have you always wanted to do but were afraid to try?

6. What activities give you a sense of importance and/or a sense of joy?

7. If there were no boundaries, what would you want to achieve, do, and/or have?

Take the time necessary to contemplate each question and answer it as thoroughly and authentically as possible. Consider your answers and how you can reach the path they are directing you towards.

I never said anything was easy; I say things can be done, however.

I will leave you with my all time favorite song that embodies this message pretty well, Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven. Jimmy Page starts this video off with the saying, "I think this a song of hope." I agree - Namaste!