As I read Cheryl Richardson's book Take Time for Your Life for the perhaps sixth or seventh time, I find a theme that is going through my life reverberating in her writing. It is the theme of leaving behind those things that no longer serve you in living your best life now.
As we move up the spiral staircase to our highest, most MaXIMIzed life, we must leave behind those things - ideas, habits, thoughts, people, situations - that no longer serve us. This can be difficult to do, as they are usually a part of our comfort zone, much like Linus' blanket or our child's favorite toy.
As a child puts away those toys he has outgrown, however, so too must we put aside those things that no longer serve to move us up the spiral staircase, and, in some cases, are pulling us down the bannister back toward the bottom step.
What things in your life - ideas, habits, thoughts, people, situations - are hindering you from living your best life now?
Friday, July 19, 2013
Monday, July 1, 2013
MaXIMIze - The Space between Reaction and Response
This one has been percolating away for a couple of months now, and is an amalgamation of several items/events recently - the phrase "put away childish things" appeared in a Daily Read from Science of Mind, a discussion on FaceBook regarding a post/picture I shared, and other things in my own life as well as the life of others.
Action, Reaction - Reactive
Action, Response - Responsive
When we are children, we are dependent upon others - our parents, our teachers, our preachers, and yes, even our peers. The action/reaction chain, nay, dance becomes ingrained from an early age in our subconscious.
When we react to the actions of another, the subconscious remembers similar previous actions - either by that particular person or a more general group that person may or may not represent - and we do not consciously consider our response - we simply, well, react. This is the action/reaction dance - quick, choppy, prone to missteps and misunderstandings.
The action/response dance has a much different form, and in order to learn and master this form we need to learn to let go of what has been ingrained in us since an early age that no longer serves us. We need to learn to step back, take a breath, move outside the circle of the action, and really look at the situation from all sides. We must determine if the reaction we feel welling up is a valid one that fits the situation or if it is one that is borne out of remembered fear, pain, loss, rejection, etc. from a seemingly similar situation that does not fit the current one.
When we choose to choose our reaction instead of allowing our reaction to choose us, we are then responding to the action/situation rather than reacting to it.
So, the next time you feel an extreme, visceral reaction coming on the heels of someone else's action - stop; breathe; step outside the circle; and look at the whole picture. Then, choose your response.
Action, Reaction - Reactive
Action, Response - Responsive
When we are children, we are dependent upon others - our parents, our teachers, our preachers, and yes, even our peers. The action/reaction chain, nay, dance becomes ingrained from an early age in our subconscious.
When we react to the actions of another, the subconscious remembers similar previous actions - either by that particular person or a more general group that person may or may not represent - and we do not consciously consider our response - we simply, well, react. This is the action/reaction dance - quick, choppy, prone to missteps and misunderstandings.
The action/response dance has a much different form, and in order to learn and master this form we need to learn to let go of what has been ingrained in us since an early age that no longer serves us. We need to learn to step back, take a breath, move outside the circle of the action, and really look at the situation from all sides. We must determine if the reaction we feel welling up is a valid one that fits the situation or if it is one that is borne out of remembered fear, pain, loss, rejection, etc. from a seemingly similar situation that does not fit the current one.
When we choose to choose our reaction instead of allowing our reaction to choose us, we are then responding to the action/situation rather than reacting to it.
So, the next time you feel an extreme, visceral reaction coming on the heels of someone else's action - stop; breathe; step outside the circle; and look at the whole picture. Then, choose your response.
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