Over the course of the last week, several potential blog topics ran through my mind and my notebook, however the one that stuck out the most was dealing with feeling alone. For me, it is the dawning realization that I have never truly been alone in my life - I lived with my mother until she passed away, I had two children before she left us so I raised them and had a third (who is nearly 20 now and probably going to fly soon) since then, and I've had a variety of relationships and roommates over the years. So, this is the first time I truly have to face being alone without another human soul to turn to at times. And it is scary at times, to know that I am all there is. But am I, really? Or, are you?
Being alone is difficult now that I have to truly face it - I have nowhere, no one to escape to anymore - all I have is me, myself and I. So right now, when the aloneness overwhelms, I walk until I find a water feature - either the one in the creek in the park that is now my backyard, or the one by the historic church near the Amtrak station about a ten-minute walk from my apartment. Then I sit there, close my eyes, and just listen to the sound of the water as it moves over, under, around, and sometimes through the rocks and remember that I am truly enough, right here, right now. And I am reminded that I am never truly alone.
Water cleanses and polishes, sanctifies and blesses. As I listen to the water passing over, under, around, and through the rocks and other impediments to its path, I am reminded that the aloneness I feel is false, for I am never truly alone. I have the blessings of Nature all around me, and my soul is full once again.
The energy that flows through the water and the wind and that is shared in the song of the bird and the leaves is the same energy that flows over, under, around and through each of us, making us all part of the great contiuum that is the life on this great blue ball we call Earth - that we call home.
Namaste.
